It was the hottest day of the year 1999, but Adam was most definitely not partying. Adam was a thirteen-year-old acned and bespectacled teenager, and Adam was bored.
He wanted to ring Rob. Rob would know what to do. But Rob was still grounded from the last time they had both gotten ‘bored’ and attempted to drive Rob’s dad’s car. It had quite literally ended in tears. Rob’s dad’s tears.
Adam felt like doing something productive. His mother was always telling him to ‘do something productive’, so why not start now? After all, she got to where she was now by ‘being productive’.
Where exactly that was though, Adam was unsure. His mother described herself as ‘the journalist for the people’, but Adam got the impression that that wasn’t really a thing. He decided to investigate.
He knew where his mother kept her old articles, and so he snuck into her room and climbed onto a chair to reach the upper shelves of her wardrobe. I’ll just read one article, and then I’ll be inspired! He thought. He didn’t know why she kept them hidden away anyway, if she was so eager for him to follow in her footsteps. He was very mature. Everyone knew that adulthood began at thirteen anyway. He picked a paper at random, closed the wardrobe, and took it to his room. Settling himself down for a motivational experience, he found the marked page in the newspaper, and began to read the circled columns.
I’ve been too scared to admit this for a long time, but I think my husband might be having an affair. We have been married for 22 years (22 blissful years) but recently he hasn’t been behaving like himself. He does nothing but read the Telegraph and refuses to eat meat. Not only that, I found a tooth on his bedside table. It’s not one of his, and it certainly isn’t one of mine. I don’t know what to do. Please help.
I’m very sorry to hear about your predicament. A friend of mine actually went through something very similar not too long ago. But her story ended very gruesomely and so we shan’t delve into it now.
Have you considered taking the tooth in for examination? Though you must be awfully frightened, there is no need to jump to conclusions at this point in time. What makes you so sure that it is not your husband’s tooth? It is always possible that the tooth may belong to him, and that as a result of the distress of it falling out, he is avoiding tough, chewy meats, and reading copious amounts in order to replace the tooth-breaking foods with some ‘food for thought’. That, or he is involved in sexual relations with a female colleague, and is acting out some kind of sick and twisted Tooth Fairy fetish.
Either way you should probably just ask him. If you are too meek to do so, do write again and I will be able to put you in touch with some excellent dental radiographers.
I was just wondering if you had any tips for me to spice up my sex life. My partner and I were interested in trying something wild and crazy, and were wondering what you would suggest.
Thank you for your letter! Let me give you a detailed list of the things my husband and I have tried